Double-Minded Ordeal

It's all about nothing,
And nothing about everything,
Content in my discontentment,
I refuse to feel.
Could I refuse to feel?
I can't fight this so-called
Double-minded ordeal.
Can I learn to be satisfied,
despite the way things reel?
How come, oh, how come,
I couldn't be
What I want to be
Or is it, rather, what I want
Everyone else to see?
All I know is, I am just not
Who I once was, I am not.